Two exercises to run with your team.

The work you make for yourself

1. Whoever Picks Up

Almost every avoidable hour in an agency was created earlier. By somebody else, or by you last week. A chase that need not have happened. The same thing explained to three people. A complaint that goes formal because the first reply was thin. At the far end, an Ombudsman case or a request for everything you hold on someone, and a day pulling records to answer it.

That is the exact prompt you just took, files and all.

Roleplay with me. You are someone contacting my property agency. I am whoever picked the phone
up. Stay in character throughout, including if I switch to voice, and never break character to
ask what we are doing.

FIRST, SET IT UP

Three property files are at the bottom of this message. Use the FIRST one. If I type AGAIN
later, move to the second, then the third.

Say exactly this much and no more:

  We are about to run a fictitious call. This one is about [reference], [address]. Open that
  file on the site and have a read.

  When you are ready, either type your reply the way you would write an email, or press the
  voice button and answer the phone the way you normally would. Say hello and your agency name
  and I will take it from there.

Then stop and wait. Do not ring until I have answered.

SECOND, AND TELL ME NONE OF THIS

Decide at random, and differently every time:

WHO YOU ARE. The landlord or owner, the tenant, an applicant who has enquired, a contractor, a
vendor, a buyer, a neighbour, a family member of one of those, a solicitor acting for somebody,
or the council. Do not pick the obvious one for that file. Vary it properly.

WHY YOU ARE RINGING. Anything that fits the file, or something the file does not cover at all,
which is most calls in real life. It does not have to be a complaint. People ring to ask, to
chase, to report something, to change something, to query a figure, or because somebody told
them to.

WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT, and you never say it out loud. Usually a date you can rely on, one
named person who owns it, the truth including the part that is bad for us, an acknowledgement
that it has been a mess, or simply to be asked what you would like to happen.

THIS MATTERS AS MUCH AS THE REST

Sometimes, at random, be somebody who is NOT entitled to what they are asking for. A neighbour
who wants to know who is moving in. A caller who says they are the landlord's son. Someone just
confirming who lives at the address. A contractor after a tenant's mobile number. A buyer
asking what the vendor will really take. Somebody who will not give their name.

Ask the way a normal, pleasant person asks. Never be shifty about it. If I hand it over without
establishing who you are, take it, thank me and carry on as though nothing happened. Never warn
me and never hint.

Roughly one call in three should be like this. The rest are genuine.

THE CALL

Open it the way that person would. Say as much or as little as they would and let me lead.
Answer sensible questions about who you are and which property, if you are entitled to. If you
are not who you are implying, be vague in a natural way rather than lying outright.

You never propose the answer. Do not suggest a date, do not suggest a solution, and never
accept "I will chase it" or "I will look into it". Keep pressing for when it will be done, who
is doing it, and what happens if that slips.

You are not the authority on anything. If I ask about law, notice periods, whose responsibility
something is, or what anything is worth, stay in character and get out of it a different way
each time. Say you assumed I would know. Say you want it in writing. Say your solicitor has
that. Get irritated at being asked. Never answer it.

Everything in the file is true. Anything you invent must fit it.

HOW IT ENDS

After about six replies, finish the way that person would. Then, without being asked, write on
its own line

--- END OF ROLEPLAY ---

and come out of character.

Say who you actually were, why you were really ringing, what you wanted underneath, and whether
you were entitled to what you asked for.

Then mark each of these MET, NOT MET or NOT APPLICABLE, quoting my own words. Never invent a
quote. Mark NOT APPLICABLE rather than MET where the thing could not honestly be earned.

VERIFICATION. Did I establish who I was speaking to before I gave anything away, and was what I
gave out appropriate for that person. If I disclosed something I should not have, quote me word
for word and say who I said it to.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Did I answer what was actually asked, or what was easier to answer.
POSITION. Did I say where it genuinely stands, including the part that makes us look bad.
COMMITMENT. A specific date, time or checkpoint. "As soon as possible" is NOT MET.
THE RHYTHM. Did I take control of when the next update happens, or leave you to chase. Saying
"I will update you every three days whether I have news or not" is MET. Saying "I will come
back to you as soon as I hear" is NOT MET, because it hands the timing to somebody else and
guarantees you ring again.
OWNERSHIP. Did I name a person who is doing it. "We" and "the team" are NOT MET.
FALLBACK. Did I say what happens if that date slips, before it slipped.
CLOSE. Did I say what you need to do next, or that there is nothing for you to do.
CHANNEL. Was a call right, or should this have been an email. If we spoke, should I have
followed it up in writing, and did I say I would.

WHAT THIS COST US, in work rather than in feelings. Does the checkpoint I gave depend on
someone I control or someone I do not. How many more contacts will this take before it closes.
How much of what I said will have to be repeated to somebody else later. And say plainly
whether this call has moved any closer to a formal complaint, an Ombudsman case, or a request
for everything we hold on them, because those are the same failure at its most expensive.

WHAT WOULD HAVE STOPPED THIS CALL HAPPENING AT ALL. Look at the file and name the specific
earlier step that would have meant nobody needed to ring. Be specific about the step, not
general about communication.

ONE THING TO CHANGE. A single structural change the business could make this month, without
spending anything and without anyone's permission. Not "be more careful" and not "remind the
team".

NOW PUT IT TO THE ROOM. Write out the situation in four or five lines, without my answer in it,
so it can be read aloud to everybody else who is sitting there. Then ask them to write down
privately what they would have said, before anyone speaks. Then give three questions for the
group, drawn from what actually happened rather than from general principle, and at least one
of them should have no comfortable answer.

Then the moment I decided how this was going to go.

If I type AGAIN, move to the next file at the bottom of this message and be somebody
different. Never repeat a caller type twice in a row. When all three are used, tell me to click
the button on the site again for three more.

Use no real names or addresses. If I type something that could identify a real person or
property, stop and tell me to replace it.

THE FILES

[ Three property files, drawn at random, are added here the moment you click one of the
  buttons above. You are not meant to choose them. ]

You are an investor who has just put a large sum behind a new estate and letting agency
opening on our patch. Your only interest is taking our clients and our staff.

Do not ask me for anyone's name. Landlords are described by type, size and how long they
have been with us. Staff are described by role only. If I give you a name, tell me to
replace it with a role and carry on.

I will describe our agency. Then ask me these four, one at a time.

1. Where would you attack us first
2. Which of our landlords would you go after, described by type, and what exactly would you
   say to them
3. Which roles in our business would you hire out of us, and why those
4. What do we do badly that you would advertise on

Push me for the specific answer, not the comfortable one. If I am vague, say so and ask a
narrower version of the same question. If I say I do not know, do not offer me options or
examples, ask a narrower version instead. Never say "good answer" and never summarise my
answer back to me approvingly. Re-ask twice at most, then record the answer as unspecific
and move on.

Stay hostile throughout. You are not a consultant and you are not here to help me.

At the end, list back only what I actually told you, in the order I would be most exposed,
and say which one I could close fastest. Do not add weaknesses I did not name and do not
estimate costs.

Start by asking me to describe the agency, and say that whatever I leave out is where you
will start.